'He would shut off the hot water while I was in the shower': Husband bans wife, 12 and 14-year old sons from showering more than twice a week, claims it's for the environment

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  • 01
    r/ r/AmlOverreacting u/dirtywife 4d Join My husband won't let me take more than two showers a week. I told him I need him to stop or I'm moving out for a while.
  • 02
    This is the weirdest thing my husband has ever done. He really is a sweet and loving husband and I love him more than anything. Divorce is not an option just to put that out there before the comments come in.
  • 03
    My husband has always been a little out there. He is a computer programmer and super smart, but also believes all sorts of things. Both real and conspiracy. Lately he has been very worried about the environment and global warming.
  • 04
    About two months ago he got real worried about water. Yes, water. He is concerned about the quality of water. He put in a new filter system in our house which I actually love because it tastes so much better.
  • 05
    But he is also concerned about how much water we use. Not because of money, but the environment. He created a new rule that we can only take 2 showers a week. Now I'm someone that likes to shower everyday before bed. I just don't like feeling dirty in bed.
  • 06
    This has created the most conflict in our marriage in 20 years. He is obsessed with the amount of water we use. At first I just ignored his rule, but he would shut off the hot water while I was in the shower.
  • 07
    I started trying to use the shower at the gym, but it's too much work to go every night with having kids. I honestly thought he would get over this within a month. But he is stuck on this still to this day.
  • 08
    Last night I really wanted a shower, but had "hit my quota" as he says. I said I'm showering and that he better not do anything. But about two minutes in, the hot water turned off.
  • 09
    I grabbed my towel and went down and started yelling. Telling him this is the dumbest thing he has ever done. I also told him I'm moving to my parents if he doesn't stop this.
  • 10
    Guys, I love this man. He is everything to me, but I can't take this anymore. Am I going to far in threatening to move out?
  • 11
    VarsityChipsPurple • 4d How about the kids? Can they shower daily?? Reply 773
  • 12
    dirtywife_ OP. 4d No, but it's two boys. 12 and 14. They wouldn't shower at all if I didn't force them to! 749
  • 13
    Thorned RoseWrites • 3d . That makes it even worse, your teens are in puberty and teenagers smell worse than little kids because the apocrine glands don't activate until puberty. So the body odor of your sons is going to be disgusting, especially because they'll now have armpit hair. Your husband should know this. Those boys should actually be showering or bathing everyday. But at a minimum they should shower every two days, that should be non- negotiable! 181
  • 14
    GDswamp. 3d Ecologist here. I work in some parts of the world that have been hit very hard by climate change and associated drought. What your husband is doing is not scientific, sanitary or particularly sane. People in places much drier than where you live - people who have practiced highly conscientious water use for decades still practice better hygiene than your husband is allowing. Your teens may be against showering but you should be teaching them to be clean. You and your husband can take
  • 15
    frisbeescientist • 4d Having 2 preteens shower twice a week at most is borderline bioterrorism on your household and their school tbh Also if you're all just not showering don't the bedsheets get dirty way faster, thus needing more water to wash them? Or are you going to bed in last night's sweaty unshowered bedsheets? As a pretty active person I'd legitimately lose sleep over having to sleep unshowered in unwashed sheets, it's making me shudder just thinking about it lol ✩ 1.5k
  • 16
    TheDreamingMyriad • 4d Having 2 preteens shower twice a week at most is borderline bioterrorism on your household and their school tbh The way my jaw hit the floor when I read she has a teen boy and an almost teen boy, and they're only showering twice a week. How can she even enter their rooms?!? My brother is autistic and growing up my mom had to force him to shower at least every other day, and I couldn't stand to be within 5 feet of him for more than 15 minutes at a time lol. Bio terrorism is
  • 17
    carolinecrane • 3d This was my first thought. Her sons are going to get bullied and the school's going to start calling home. This is borderline. abusive on hubbie's part. ... 420
  • 18
    Advanced_Feeling7438. 4d It is really concerning that he is paranoid and controlling about water all of a sudden. Has there been any major changes in his life or anything? Reply 2.2k
  • 19
    So_She_Did • 4d This is a really great point. I'm curious how old he is and if any changes in health, career, responsibilities, etc. have happened. 834
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    Regalme • 4d MRI time 741
  • 21
    AcanthisittaTiny710 • 4d This is insanely controlling and I hate when people do things like this. The amount of water used in a household is incomparable to the amount used by corporations that are actually damaging the environment. Reply 494
  • 22
    dirtywife_ OP. 4d That's a good point. I should do some research on that and show him. ... 218
  • 23
    shinyredumbros • 4d No, you don't need evidence. You want to take. a shower. That's enough reason for him to lay off. If he loves and respects you, you will matter more than water. 202
  • 24
    FuzzyHero69.4d There's 300 million Americans. One family suffering to save water won't make a difference. Your husband needs to seek therapy about this issue. Take a shower every day. Reply 282
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